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Keepers

by Very Nervous

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1.
went to the community health-link center because I had lost my head the man inside said I'm very sorry but I'm afraid we're out of beds and I said man you don't understand I'm feeling terminal so they shipped me in an ambulance from hospital to hospital and wow, life really sucks but at least I have an acorn to calm me down when I'm down n' out yeah at least I have an acorn got out of the hospital and finally went home my dad said son I feel for you but from now on you're on your own and he kicked me out with his big work boot and sent me on my way sleeping in my car with all my stuff how could I not say that wow, life really sucks but at least I have an acorn to calm me down when I'm down n' out yeah at least I have an acorn sleeping in my car one night I woke up to a gun in my face, the man behind it shouted "boy you'd better run" and he stole my car and all my stuff including my guitar my heart was shot my mind was blown so I laid down on the tar and said wow, life really sucks but at least I have an acorn to calm me down when I'm down n' out yeah at least I have an acorn
2.
Monsters 02:49
this one's for the monsters hiding under your bed they're hungry and they need to be fed and you're looking like a hot pocket wrapped up in your blanket at night when you're alone surrounded by shadows i don't know where they go but I know where the monsters come from they come from somewhere deep inside us beneath our sinus in the empty pits of our hearts, that's where they're from and there they live happily feeding off my anxiety and that's how they survive but you know one day I'll kick them I'll out and I'll say how things are so much better today and I'll say how things are so much better and how now I can sleep at night and everything's alright now the monsters are left without a home they're left out in the cold but you know I'll see them again someday in some random coffee shop and I'll say "you guys always have a home in me" feel free to come and go as you please
3.
I live my life day to day and say something's got to give I'm waiting for you to come back and put everything back into perspective but for now I'm on my own my inner self is a two way mirror nothing is shown I'm just a bummy scummy kid sitting around with nothing in his head but bad thoughts and prescriptions ( x2 ) I hang onto things that crazy people make to make them feel better about themselves I carry their weight and I swear to god if by the end of the day I can't remember if I'd ate I'm just a bummy scummy kid sitting around with nothing in his head but bad thoughts and prescriptions ( x2 ) went to Lauren's today to an ugly sweater party everyone was drinkin' and laughin' I was thinkin' and sober and mulling over how I'm bummy scummy kid sitting on the couch with nothing in his head but bad thoughts and prescriptions ( x2 ) I think about drinkin' and I think about you and I think about dying and I think about pooh and eyor my childhood friends and how if they could see me now what would they think of me then? I'm just a bummy scummy kid sitting around with nothing in his head but bad thoughts and prescriptions ( x2 )
4.
this one's for everyone who's ever woken up wishing they didn't this one's for everyone who smiles through the pain with their scars hidden, tucked behind their veins cause I'd drive across Massachusetts without giving two shits about sleep I'd drive for miles upon end, that's right If you just need a friend tonight to talk to till the morning light this one's for everyone who's ever suffered from a self inflicted burn just keep your head above the water boy, someday the tides will turn this one's for everyone who just can't shake those voices in their heads ignore the skeletons in your closet girl, trust me they're all fucking dead cause I'd drive across Massachusetts without giving two shits about gas I'd drive for miles upon end, that's right ignoring my check engine light if you just need a friend tonight this one's for everyone who blames themselves for all the problems in the world this one's for every suicidal boy and every emo cutter girl this one's for everyone who thinks so much that they can't fucking sleep this one's for everyone who's exactly like me
5.
As I drive by I'll wave you a friendly goodbye I'll greet you a friendly good bye and as the frost collects on the window I'll rest my weary eyes and as the van skids by on the snow I'll wave my good-byes when I wake up I won't hang round and linger with cigarette stains on my teeth and coffee stains on my fingers I'm leaving yeah I'm skipping town because the pills and the pride that I swallowed last night are putting up a fight but I'm keeping them down ow ow own As I drive by I'll wave you a friendly good-bye I'll greet you a friendly good-bye because the pills and the pride that I swallowed last night I'm putting up a fight but they're bringing me down ow ow own and as the van skids by on the snow I'll rub my weary eyes and as the driver slowly sips his SoCo I'll wave my good-byes
6.
Woke up this mornin' picked up my guitar shook it up heard something bangin' round tipped that shit upside down and what have I found? there was a dead mouse in my guitar and he said "hey man I ain't doin' so good" and I said "me neither" and he said "well at least you're alive" and I said "wait a minute, If you're not alive how are you talkin' to me" and I said "wait a minute, if you're a mouse how are you talkin; to me" "am I goin' crazy!?" the mouse said no I said yes the mouse said no hope the mouse knows best there was a dead mouse in my guitar
7.
If my life was a Hayoa Miyazaki film, I'd want it to be Ponyo because I want to fall in love with a girl who can do magic and has webbed feet and we'd be brought together by fate I want a goldfish to say to me "Ponyo loves Jake" If my life was a Hayoa Miyazaki film, I'd want it to be Kiki's Delivery Service because I want to fly away from home and I want to live on the coast and work in some random bakery and help a boy who has a crush on me build a flying machine If my life was a Hayoa Miyazaki film, I'd want it to be Porco Roso because that pig flying around in his fighter plane is fucking loco and you would think that by the end of the movie he'd turn back into a human but by the end you see it's okay to be a pig If my life was a Hayoa Miyazaki film, I'd want it to be Princess Mononoke because I want a vicious wolf princess to tell me that everything is okay and I want to save the trees and I want to prove myself worthy of being rid of the demon inside of me If my life was a Hayoa Miyazaki film, I'd want it to be Spirited Away because I often dream of vanishing from this world without a trace and hanging out with a spirit with no face and saving my parents from becoming a three course meal and getting them back to what is real and helping Haku remember his real name If my life was a Hayoa Miyazaki film, I'd want it to be My Neighbor Totoro because I want to do a dance and watch the trees all grow and play in the yard with my sister May and find out where the trails in the forest go and catch soot sprites in my house and plant trees with you Totoro
8.
he doesn't look like anyone else in this fucking town they all walk around wearing their big frowns but not him, he's Jon Erickson with his Khaki pants and a flannel coat and a hoody up on top his hair's a mess and he's walking fast to stay warm cause you know it's cold in this world for a dreamer such as he in this world for a dreamer such as he don't act young act fucking old cause you know this world is fucking cold for anyone who's free walking down the street with a candy cane that my girl bought for me smoking a cigarette and waiting for a xanax to melt in my belly and I asked her how much the candy canes were and you know she said to me "I think this world is perfect and in my perfect world I think everything should be free" and our hairs' a mess and we're walking fast to stay warm cause you know it's cold yeah you know it''s fucking cold yeah you know it's fucking cold in this world for anyone who is bold so don't act young, act fucking old
9.
Hello Dad, I'm the son you wish you never had hello mom, I'm the one you tried so hard on but everything went wrong and hello brother, I'm the one you used to love to hit and hello self, how I wish you weren't so young and pissed wake up, breakfast and morning medications and then, at ten gentle stretch and meditation after that, at noon we'll listen to tunes on the T.V. that they got in the lobby and we'll drink our coffee like it's the last thing we'll ever drink and we'll think our thoughts like they're the last thoughts that we'll ever think and we'll go to group and say we're learning quite alot but we're not so let's all do the psych ward everybody do the psych ward hop trazadone and hydroxyzine will make your life seem like a dream if you're starting to feel low, just take a walk to the med window and ask them for a couple pills, just something to eas the pain you'll be feeling good as new, yeah you'll be walking down happy lane oh yeah everyone to DBT skills I don't wanna swallow these pills would you like to pet my pet peeve? that guy looks like Keanu Reeves I don't wanna die yet I don't wanna diet the anorexic girls dry heave you see that guy looks like Keanu Reeves? KEANU REEVES hey there, what's up? what's that? yeah I've been gone for a while went on vacation in Ohio with my family, it was real nice oh you saw my dad the other day ios that right everybody do the psych ward hop in our hospital socks do the psych ward hop
10.
I love that feeling that you get in your eyes when you step out of the shower and into the world and your back's still wet and sticking to your shirt and your eyelids are oysters and your eyes are the pearls and the oysters open wide but it's still fuzzy to see but just as clear as day and as alive as the sea on a dark stormy day, in the middle of spring, in the middle of may and the boat of my soul with emptiness aboard strives to finish it's mission, strive to land on shore before the waves over take it and it sinks down to the sand and it doesn't matter where, just so long as it lands and it's safe safe in the garden of Eden where the snake reproduce and you're all free to be heathens and no one can judge because no one goes to heaven, If the devil is six then god is most definitely not seven but five five simple reasons for you to live, against the six fucking reasons for your soul to give up and die, but not all has been exhausted because cheap thrills are not dirty they're just things that make you happy that are free and obstacles are the most difficult when they're the things keeping you from being who you wanna be happy and free and the message is to keep pushing all boundaries just as your boat pushes the sea
11.
Kimya Dawson says that Rock n' Roll is fun and to remember that you're very small but you are still someone and I remember late night talks with my friends who are really into drugs now, and I'm grateful that I'm not but I still miss them and the things they used to say to me like "hey maybe we're not real, maybe this is all a dream maybe we're all just dreaming of each other, and we're all keeping each other alive" and I don't know if I believe that that could be true but I'll keep dreaming if that means I can hang around with you and if that's true does that mean if I forget you you'll be dead? and if that's true does that mean if you forget me i'll be dead? If this is true, then I swear I won't forget you cause if I do it'll be like I never met you and you've taught me so much and you've changed me so much, you've changed my point of view on the world So I won't forget you even if you don't want to hang out with me no more because I'm sober cause I'm a bore because I'm sober Kimya Dawson says that Rock n' Roll is fun drinking coffee smoking cigarettes like Tom Waits and Iggy Pop in that one youtube video where they hang out at the diner and the two of them both relapse and that's all I do for drugs these days drinking coffee smoking cigarettes I don't need no purple haze but I still miss you and I wanna hang out still but I can't stand seeing you with your mind at a stand still staring at the T.V. screen when it's blank
12.
If I was a girl I'd wear goggles and pin stripe pants travel to distant lands and lead a relatively normal nomadic life I guess I would be basically the same If you were a boy you'd be a little less confident a little more quiet except when you sing you'd be loud and unbearable I just thought I'd let you know so you'd be prepared for that sort of thing I guess we'd both be basically the same If we were born into different worlds If you were a boy and I was a girl we'd both be the same ( x2) except different bodies you're a little more rowdy but if I could make the case we could split time and space save the whole human race by holding each other close but I think you might be my ghost I know that you might not write bout me in your blog cause you've got so many friends that you can't keep on but now that I think of it sometimes I'm just not fit to keep on this life I live cause I ignore everyone I've ever been guess we're both the same If we were born into different worlds If you were a boy and if I was a girl we'd both be the same ( x2) except different bodies you're a little more rowdy but if I could make the case we could split time and space save the whole human race by holding each other close cause I think you might be my ghost She doesn't want you to know that she's an inferno ( x2) the second you know oh the second you know she's a ghost
13.
tints and smudges can paint the prettiest pictures on my window when it rains you and me, shackled down by chemicals pick a rain drop and watch them race but through the fog and the colors and refracted light, through the race on the window pane I could see them a million souls crashing into one another a million souls crashing into themselves a million souls crashing into one another a million souls crashing into themselves and they'll float higher than Mt. Washington and they'll float higher than the Empire State Building you and me, we're broken misfit toys square pegs, round holes and broken gears I've got a broken voice box but that's okay, you've got no ears so we'll just sit in silence and serenity and watch the skies unfold what was once new now is old tints and smudges can paint the prettiest pictures on my window when it rains
14.
my car broke down it started to snow couldn't go to Worcester couldn't make it to shows drank a lot of whiskey till my worries were drowned and my vision was so blurred I couldn't tell I wore a frown and this went on for quite some time getting drunk and bumming rides but it gave me some time to think and time to realize I've got to get out of this fucking town before I fucking die but I'm too broke to hit the road stuck under debt feel like I'm gonna corrode in this town I'm too drunk and full of narcissism to be a respectable advocate for anarchism oh god I wish I could have found a better way to live my life I'm scared of change but sick of strife but there's nothing that I can change right now so let's have a smoke on the back porch and chug these motherfucking forties down wish I could sing about positive things like defiance, confidence and shit but I got no morals to be sold when I'm out in the cold just trying to keep my cigarette lit but believe you me I've fucking tried to switch my brain to the brighter side I took the pills not the cyanide but there's nothing that I can change right now so let's have a smoke on the back porch and chug these motherfucking forties down
15.
I walked in the room and there, naked she stood with her weight shifted on one leg we both understood "mayday, mayday" this plane can no longer fly but her flawless body is pressed up against mine god why? why did you make her this way? the way a Venus fly trap consumes it's prey it smells so sweet to the poor little flies so they pursue not knowing that she'll be their demise she's the butane flame at the tip of my fingers she's the same kind of pain that doesn't just scar but lingers with hair just as black as her heart she's a beautiful walking embodiment of art she's the torment that lingers in the back of my brain she's the coffee spill on my shirt she's that grim little stain she's everything there ever was or is to adore she's the reason for the creation of the very word "amore" she's the waves that wash away all the sand castles on shore she's everything that I ever wanted and more she's the closed sign on the door of a 24 hour convenience store she's the voice everyone can hear but only I can understand she's that last cigarette in my trembling hand she's the stinger of a bee you trusted to land on your arm she's the promise from a razor that it'll do you no harm she is my dreams she is my alarm she's the wine in my glass she's my tasteless microwavable chicken parm she's the bed where I sleep she's the room where I shower she's the one there with me through every waking hour she's the smiles I fake she's a poisonous flower if there even is still a sweet she's the overpowering sour she's the soles of my shoes I pray will go up to god as I step off the ledge with a deep breath and a nod and as I fell to the ground in her sight I did cower as I realized finally that she was the tower
16.
a crazy old lady named Joan once said that I was a motha motha kid at the time it didn't make much sense but I haven't looked back since shop lifting from convenience stores steal from the rich and steal from the poor stealing balloons from the community college I don't care cause I live on the edge now I got a bedroom filled with balloons gonna float away just like in the cartoons kicked out of college kicked off the edge I don't care cause I'm a motha motha kid a close friend of mine once said to me "you're a motha motha kid as far as I can see" I said girl you couldn't be more right and this motha motha kid ain't going down without a fight punching friends in the face no sympathy for the human race don't think twice just swing away I'm a motha motha kid till my dying day I was bored sitting on my porch so I burnt the town down with a gasoline torch they said take a look now at what you did I said "I don't care cause I'm a motha motha kid"
17.
Trash Song 01:53
I don't give a fuck anymore shit's all piling up shit's all piling up, this world is a landfill and I'll be damned if I'm buried beneath it so I'll climb I'll climb to the top of the trash that's not to say that I'm not trash myself I'm just trash with ambition I'm trash with ambition and I'm on a mission I'm trash with ambition and I'm on a mission I'm trash with goals getting picked at by the sea gulls I'm trash with dreams I'm trash that teems with dreams of anarchy I'm trash with fight I'm trash that glows with radioactive light I'm trash with fight I'm trash that just might bite your throat tonight I smoke my cigarettes down to the filter and waste is an unstable oil rig it's so easy to tilt her I know I'm white trash and I got shit luck and I know that this song sucked but frankly I don't give a fuck
18.
The Chills 03:51
sometimes I wish everything would just stop for a second or two just let me collect my thoughts I don't know what to do everything is moving way too fast I think I'm having an anxiety attack just take a few more pills let them slither down your throat here come the chills I wish the rain would just stop pouring I wish the old man would stop snoring I wish he never bumped his head I wish he never had to be dead I wish the world would stop turning I wish hell would stop burning I wish the preacher would stop preaching I wish god would just stop looking down on me just let me live my life, just let me be but if they could put Jesus in a pill and make some kind of divine chemical something like M.D.M.A. but that doesn't put holes in your brain and makes everything seem a little more than just okay you know I'd take that pill every day once a day twice a day three times a day I wish the wind would cease to blow I wish the grass would cease to grow I wish that you would just stop talking I wish everyone would just stop talking wish my hands would stop shaking I wish the skies would stop scraping I wish the cars would stop moving I wish everything would just stop moving for a second or two just let me collect my thoughts I don't know what to do cause everything is moving way too fast I think I'm having an anxiety attack just take a few more pills let them slither down your throat here come the chills
19.
I'm wandering through the graveyard thinking of you and I gladly pour a healthy gulp of my booze out for you and it'll sink down into the dirt and eventually down to the underworld and it might have a little bit of dirt in it when you finally get around to drinking it and I'm throwing cigarettes into the fire just for you and I'll watch as the smoke clouds grow higher and higher up to you and god will say god will say "hey" "there's no smoking in here" and you'll say "hey man I thought this was heaven why don't you crack open a beer and try to enjoy yourself, Jesus Christ" and I don't know what to say I miss you and I wish you could have stayed
20.
Best friends until the end I know it sounds like a foolish sentiment but it's a promise that I intend to keep and I'll be there for you through thick and thin just like you just like you've been there for me and when things get pretty rough we can both be pretty tough but we could both use someone to talk to we could both use a second point of view that could be me could that be you? I know that you've been going through a lot recently I won't get into details I just wanted to express my sincerest sympathy and you were there for me when my brain was soaked in whiskey and depression you picked me up and invited me to a recording session in Uxbridge and I'll be there for you any way that I can figure how I may be a skinny kid but I'm still strong enough to pick you up when you are down when you are down and out don't count me out you can count me in

about

a collection of songs written in the past two years, some with just vocals and acoustic, some with acoustic and bass, there's a shaker and a frying pan in psych ward hop, and one on an electric organ (boat of my soul). with some help from Shane McWilliams on Bass and Dan Connors playing lead guitar on "Wish You Could Have Stayed" enjoy.

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released July 18, 2014

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That Kid Athol, Massachusetts

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